I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize