He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
