We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
