he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
