ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
