Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
