If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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