I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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