i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
