so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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