i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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