Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
