somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
