You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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