Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize