She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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