If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just blew my weed a kiss
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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