Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party