Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
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I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.