there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho