You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?