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thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
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