At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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