I wish I could teleport
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
