I love black thongs
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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