Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize