Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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