it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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