someone threw a dead crab at me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
