I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
