butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
