Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize