I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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