quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
