I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
