I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
