i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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