I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I showed him my bush... on skype.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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