I cockslap morals
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
