There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
