The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
