I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
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