i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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