He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize