So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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