remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
