How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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