I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
