found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
