She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
