Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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