so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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