Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
