Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Edward fifth and chaser hands
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
