Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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