Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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