I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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