I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
