We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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