shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
