look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
