dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
