After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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