Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
